Mummy Guilt

By 6/09/2016 , , ,

It's that feeling that festers, and builds up when you've got way too much time to think (especially when you're avoiding the chores and ever growing pile of laundry for the third day in a row). 

It's that little voice that say "what am I doing so wrong??!" when your one year old has a terrible-twos style tantrum much earlier than the books said they would.

When your baby arches her back and scampers away and impersonates a tiny angry velociraptor because you wanted just five more minutes of loving cuddling bonding time and all she wants is to pick carpet lint off the floor and play with the socks from the previously mentioned laundry pile.

Does my baby hate me?

Am I stimulating her enough?

Am I too strict?

One more biscuit cant hurt if it keeps her happy, right?

Mummy guilt.

I often find myself questioning my skills as a parent and wondering if she will just go and take another nap because I'm rubbish at playing mega-blox and I don't read the penguin book the way daddy does and it's all getting a bit stressful.

A few months ago, I let this mummy guilt, or mummy-questioning get on top of me. I didn't want to play because she didn't laugh for me. She would fight me if I put in the effort to get her out of her sticky pajamas and dress her in an outfit appropriate for being seen in public, I didn't even want to write about parenting here on the blog because who wants to read a post titled "today my child ate a packing peanut and we watched 3 hours of cbeebies".

This post is a PSA to all the mums out there who like me, worry if they're doing a half-assed job and have experienced mummy guilt.

The fact is, no-one is perfect.

If your sticky handed terror wants finds the most entertainment helping you destroy the carefully put away book system, that's okay. If you need to tie them down in their high chair with a too-big packet of crisps and force them to watch the same episode of Peppa Pig that's been playing for 3 hours straight just so you can drink a warm cup of tea- do it.

Don't feel guilty if your child has been wearing odd socks for a week straight because the washing machine eats them or you're just too tired to organize them into pairs in their own designated compartment in the nursery dresser. Be proud for even finding two clean ones!

If bath time is a flooded floor, toys everywhere, baby eating bubbles nightmare hour and you're avoiding it until little one is so dirty they blend in with your new brown rug- that's fine. 

As long as your child is happy, fed, warm and loved then you're doing a great job. 

It took me a long time to realise this, and to stop questioning myself as a mum. I just hope this post helps anyone else feeling the way I did.

Note: She really did eat a packing peanut. well, half of one. She was fine.

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  1. No such thing as odd socks - I mean every one has socks that don't look the same right?....right?.....RIGHT?! ;)
    And a clean toddler? I drag a wash cloth over the face before we leave the house to their utter protest and if we're really good we're not doing the school run in the morning in a PJ. :p hehe

  2. I completely agree as long as your little one is happy everything els doesn't matter . Your doing a great job ! #weekendblogshare

  3. What is a packing peanut?!! Well done you for overcoming this. I find it all consuming at times but thankfully have quitened this voice....for now!